Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Running Out of Time

This is probably going to be as far as I'm going to get with this drawing for 2009. I worked myself up into a total Tizz these past few days struggling to get this piece finished for a deadline, get this - for TOMMOROW!! I even contemplated staying up all night to finish it, until I realised that time is one important ingredient in my drawings - as essential as dip pen nibs and ink. My drawings are as much about my own relationship with time, and my often painful scrutinising of the insubstantiality of the passing moment, and it's taken a day of shredded nerves and almost total ruination of a drawing in progress to realise this.

I've always been one of those people who habitually contemplates the impossible - how to grasp the concept of time, to grasp the moment. Which of course is fatal. The moment is not there to be grasped, only to be passed through like the dappled shadow and sunlight of a forest path. Sensational yet insubstantial.

I've always been one of those people who can guess the time without having to look at their watch. Something in me is aware of time passing, and yet at the same time, is totally bewildered by it. The human condition, I suppose.

Anyway, letting go of this particular deadline (for this drawing at least) is necessary for my sanity. I will deliver something tomorrow, but it won't be this drawing. It's hard to accept that I haven't made my own self-imposed deadline, I hate letting myself down this way, but it's necessary.


Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Yes, better to let go of a deadline than ruin such an incredible piece of work. Truly stunning so far!

Kay said...

Thank you Perpetual Chocoholic for your kind words. I've visited your blog many times this year to look at your gorgeous coloured pencil work, so I take your compliment very seriously indeed. Thanks again.